I've played at numerous casinos throughout the country -- MGM Grand in Detroit... Mole Lake in Wisconsin. ,The Golden Lake Casino in Kansas. Grand Victoria Casino in Chicago, Harrahs Chester Casino & Racetrack in Philly, The Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Biloxi. The Island View Casino Resort in Gulfport, The Black Hawk Casinos in Colorado, Calder Casino & Race Course in Florida and on and on -- I'm just naming 1 per state but believe me there is more -- Been to all the big ones around the U.S and plenty of the boutique places as well. Name a state - I've been to at least one casino there. Massachusetts, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, New Mexico, Oregon, Idaho, Connecticut... Not to mention Europe and Eastern Europe. Went to Le Royal Meridien National in Russia and the Divonne Les Bains, in France -- But OUT OF THEM ALL - only 1 managed to boggle my mind and give me a literal migraine (For which I don't get) ...It was this Club Clearwater Casino in Washington State. Believe me... I know the odds. I know the risks and I have taken them with all my travels, but those words don't even apply at that Club Clearwater Suqaumish place. Unbelievable. Absolutely mind boggling. I am sorry but the best way to describe it was the same feeling as being MUGGED or robbed. In fact I have to say that I was indeed mugged years ago and the experience was traumatic but it didn't sit with me as hard as my experience at this Clearwater. I don't know how they do it . They perhaps are not regulated... But even then I must point out that Ive been to some shady joints -- even one poker house in Turkey that I know had some mob ties but even those places never assaulted the customers like this place did. It was as if they never wanted you to return. BINGO! They scored... I mean how or why would someone? You can walk from slot to slot and slide in one hundred dollar bills and hit those buttons in any varying pattern or bet and you will never once see more then 10% above your bet come back -- The bonus rounds generally don't kick in until you're blurry eyed, but even when they do you wonder WHY? Why do they bother kicking in because they pay... NOTHING... Seriously... Bonus rounds that equate to zero... Bonus rounds that took you hours to have the chance to play that return NOTHING. I mean you expect for a symbol of the middle finger to pop up at you -- But even that would be too respectful there -- This was true for me AND my friends and we are talking 5 solid days of this. It was funny on day two. On day four we were all out of our minds. Day 5 we were stoned faced. Not about the loss (although it hurt) about how absolutely UN-FUN it was. Relentless. Brutal. Crazy.
If you are concerned about your trips to a casino becoming too frequent and bringing an onset of slot machine addiction, I have found a wonderful cure: Suquamish Clearwater Casino.
As you drive into the spacious parking garage, get whisked up a fast elevator to the pleasant fourth floor casino floor, it may be easy to overlook the large number of worn out cars being attended to by sullen patrons carrying free promotional kitchen trinkets out of the casino. They "won" something, but perhaps not what they really wanted. Your inner voice kicks in: "But not me. Not this time. I've lost money 15 times in the past 16 visits, but this will be different. This is a midweek, early afternoon trip right before the payday scalping party begins. It's the 13th, and Venus just transited the sun. And heck, a week ago on this day there were plenty of handpays--at least 10 over 1,000.00. So, I'll just watch and jump in when enough people have been bled on my Video Terminal bank."
Your strategy works out great (as usual) for the first thirty minutes or so. In my case, I was up a full 34 bucks (gasp!) on my first 100 bucks playing dollar bets and having 3 bonus games.
Then it gets bad. You switch machines. You pace out the play. Nothing works. But this casino must have at least 82% payback programming chips in these games, right?
I'm not an MIT trained math whiz, but what the house edge means for me is that playing here costs me 300.00 every time I play dollar bets. Win 100, lose 400. If I play .25 bets, I lose 20 bucks an hour; play .50 bets, lose 40 bucks an hour, and so on.
For a slot machine addiction to work properly, I would expect a healthy symbiotic relationship to occur. You escape to a relaxing environment to "pray to the God of Chance" (as one author describes it), win some--and lose more. Perhaps pour a bunch of cash into a bank of slots and nail a huge, thrilling bonus that gives you back half or more of your losses. The way I see it, casinos (and their programmers) have a choice every day: milk their cash cows weekly or have one big BBQ and be done with it.
Roger Upjohn's trip report (below) hit it right on the head. Clearwater decided to have a BBQ with me. I lost almost a thousand in one day playing dollar bets on the same bank, at the "right times", with no results. Playing dollar bets with no bonuses for 800 spins will do wonders for your addiction issues. It also helps to have people blowing smoke in your face, passing gas, hitting jackpots on .10 bets, or telling you in a drunken stupor how they are faking a disability to play next to you today.
I tried the self barring route at a few Washington casinos. It's worthless. Don't expect any enforcement, unless you win a hand payout. The Clearwater has found a better way to cure gambling problems. If you suspect that you or a loved one has a gambling problem, play at the Clearwater Casino a few times and you will be cured.
You know I don't really like writing reviews. If I write them I generally only write good ones, but I'm making an exception because I feel obliged to say something in hopes of sparing someone from having to experience what I did. I am hoping at least one person will read this and not go to the Clearwater Casino because it's just unpleasant. I have to say most of the people walking out looked very unhappy and I can see why. The slots machines are not right. They are far from fun. YES you will LOSE. That's a given. It's HOW they have you lose that is so frustrating. You will never have a chance to see any of your money back. It's like they snap it out of your hand. These are the tightest slots I have ever seen. This was my worst casino experience by far. Slots are rumored to pay back as little as 72 per cent and I know the Natives don’t need to disclose the percentage and I suppose they wouldn't because the people would know better. Please do yourself a FAVOR & NEVER GO THERE because they TRULY will take your money. I am sorry that the owners feel such a need to be so excessively greedy. It's sad.
Suquamish has the tightest slots in Western Washington! I was a regular, but I no longer patronize this casino. The food quality has degraded to the point that calling it mediocre would be a compliment. A pack of rabid dogs are more personable than the casino employees. The Suquamish Clearwater Casino is no longer a pleasant experience. If you want any chance of a pleasant gaming and dining experience, find another casino!
NEVER gives back. My husband and I have been to just about every casino in Vegas and Atlantic City and Western NY and never have we spent $1600 on slots in 2 days without winning anything. I'm not talking about taking money home but just winning enough to keep you playing for a while. They are so greedy they can't even offer a customer that. We played machines I've played in other casinos that paid so it's not the machines themselves. This was the worse experience we ever had at a casino! The slots were so tight it was horrible! It's absolutely ridiculous! Entertainment" IT'S A RELATIVE TERM. So ask yourself this (metaphorically speaking) : Is it entertaining for you to have an ARROGANT RICH PERSON come up from behind you, JAM a gun into your back and while laughing at you say -- "Give me all of your money… Your money is ours and if you say a word about it we will have you thrown to the pavement. Now stop playing and hand over your money you stupid idiot!" . . . If THAT'S the general feeling of what you're looking for from a Casino experience then Suqaumish Clearwater Casino IS THE PLACE FOR YOU. . . IF however you want more of the regular Casino experience where the odds favor the house but nonetheless offer some chance of winning, well then you must go to any other casino then Clearwater.
